Posts in Essay
How many heartbeats per minute does it take to make you finally do the things you’ve always wanted to?


Two years ago, I had just come home from my second hospital stay in the one month since being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). I could barely see out of my left eye. My vision was covered by a gray that I liken to an Instagram filter. Doctors put me on high-dose steroids to reduce the swelling on my optic nerve and maybe, over the next 6-12 months, my sight would improve. 

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the naked queen

The first step in reclaiming my body began a little over a year ago at a Trader Joe’s in the suburban south.

I was thirty-eight and six months into an MS diagnosis. The vision in my left eye still threatened me with darkness and when I dared to peer through it, the world was smudged by a gray, cloudy filter. The tiny store was crowded with hipster parents and cranky toddlers sticky with fruit leather, or sugar from the bakery next door. No matter where you went, you were in the way.

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